DEATH IS A WAY OF LIFE

The very first day that I was in Carolina, we were visited by a couple from a neighboring town who are hosting a German volunteer for one year in their home. As the others began to converse in SiSwati, Jana and I attempted to make conversation in English. We asked the usual questions of each other, “What is your name? Where do you come from? What are you doing here?” I discovered that Jana had arrived in August, and was teaching math at a primary school. I, of course, being the fresh recruit, was eager to hear about her experience in South Africa thus far. So when I asked, “What do you think of Africa?” I was shocked to hear her reply, “There are a lot of funerals.”

Fast forward two months later, and I couldn’t agree with her more. In the USA, Saturday is commonly perceived as a free day; people go hiking, work in the yard, do some shopping, and maybe catch a ball game. In South Africa, Saturday is Funeral Day. I was horrified the first time I asked someone what they were doing over the weekend, and they replied, “Probably going to a funeral.” That response implied that although they didn’t have any plans as of yet to attend a funeral service, chances were likely that by the time Saturday rolled around, there would be. Do you think you would look forward to your weekend as much if you knew that you would “probably be going to a funeral?”

According to the UN, about 1,000 people in South Africa died every day because of AIDS in 2008. Five years earlier, in 2003, an estimated 600 people died every day. The number of deaths is increasing, not decreasing. South Africa has more people living with HIV and AIDS than any other country in the world (Bring Me My Machine Gun, Alec Russell, p. 203). Mothers and fathers die, leaving children to be absorbed by other family members. Cousins become siblings, grandparents become parents. The bereavement policy is clearly posted in the teacher’s lounge of the primary school where I volunteer. Commercials on television promote Funeral Policies, and ask the question, “What will happen when your loved one dies?” A young woman proudly showed me invitations she had painstakingly made by hand. When I asked what they were for (thinking birthday parties and weddings), she replied, “Unveilings,” as in Unveiling of the Tombstone after a burial. Death is a way of life.

Although I have encountered death in my own personal life, I have never before encountered death as such an omnipresent reality. As a volunteer in South Africa, I struggle with how to cope when I hear of yet another death, and I usually don’t even know the deceased. But I do know that each and every death has a profound impact on those I do know. It is a frequent occurrence, but the pain is real, and felt anew each time. If there’s anything I’ve learned thus far, it’s that death is a way of life. There is no hiding, denying, or getting used to it. It is real, and it affects everyone, even me, a newcomer in this community.

What are you doing on Saturday?